Reaching the Outer Limits: June 2008

Presenting The Top Ten Ways To Cope With The New Petrol Price

Sell the car and buy a minibus instead. Then offer a shuttle service for co-workers living nearby and charge them 90 cents for each trip or RM40 for a monthly pass. Help your colleagues beat this new petrol price while making a profit at the same time - brilliant!!!
Stop visiting friends and relatives living outside a 10km radius from where you live. If they start complaining, then visit them the following weekend and hand them a claims form for petrol costs at the end of the visit. That will put and end to their complaints about your infrequent visits.
Park your car 3km before reaching your workplace and then walk the rest of the distance. Save about RM30.00 a month while burning off some extra calories in the process.
Quit that gym you joined so you no longer need to drive all the way there. Instead walk all the way to the nearest Tesco for your weekly grocery shopping and get weekly Cardio + Weights for free during your long walk back home. If you hit the gym more than once a week then go grocery shopping more often lah!
Send in a petition for Uncle WIlliam to open a branch at the newly completed nearby shoplots or else you won’t promote his foodstall anymore
Stop making cross country trips on the highways for Cuti-Cuti Malaysia vacations and instead spend the holiday camping at one of the many public parks near your home - you’ll be surprised at how much activity goes on at these parks after midnight
Start making makan-makan blog reviews on each and every single one of the many many mamak restaurants within a 5km radius from where you live instead of travelling anywhere further to find blogworthy eating joints. All the popular restaurants have been blogged about before so why not blog about these mamak restaurants that no one seems to bother blogging about.
Call in sick more often and finally get to use up that MC quota your employer allocated. Need MCs? I’m charging only 10L petrol for them
Tell your spouse, girlfriend/boyfriend that you’ve just been diagnosed with arthritis of the knees (see me for fake medical report ) and can no longer drive for the rest of your life (but walking around is OK as the weight is well distributed between both legs - kelentong lah sikit!!!) Then tell them that if they really love you as much as they say they do, they should send you and pick you up from work everyday - this is guaranteed to make the scam work!
Wake up at 3am every night to siphon 5L of petrol from your neighbour’s car. He won’t notice it and you’ll never need to visit a petrol station ever again for the rest of your life. But don’t forget to get sleeping pills for their dogs first (Chen & Just Nis would need sleeping pills for their neighbour’s cats too)